Thoughts about My Dad

When I think about my father throughout my life, There are two words that come readily to mind:
    Protector and Provider

As a child I knew that I was completely safe.   I didn’t know how much this affected until the qualities I desired in a husband were those very same qualities.  Dad protected us in many ways and I am sure in ways that I am unaware of.  Part of his protection was by being a provider.  

Not only did he work to provide a future plan in regards to his field of financial planning, he protected and provided for us through giving us a vision of the future.  He taught us to make goals and and helped equip us to achieve those goals through the gaining of knowledge, self discipline, diligence and perseverance.

He always provided a voice to speak into our lives that encouraged us to the the best we could be at the things we chose to do.

Dad and mom provided a loving home in which was always a sanctuary where we could retreat to as kids or teenagers.

Most of all, he provided a way for us to hear the truth…a truth that transforms and shapes our way we look at and process life’s circumstances, how we interact with others and in this case celebrate and grieve.
   
Living so far away I have come to treasure the face to face conversations and interactions I get to have with others, especially my parents. 

Experiencing the Past with Dad:
Dad’s dementia allowed us to “travel” back in time to Dad’s navy years (through his long term memory), and even to his teenage years in his mind.  My kids and I got the amazing opportunity to see who he was at heart and what his priorities were by talking about events that in his mind just happened.

When Griffin asked Dad what was his favourite memory of being in the navy was, Dad’s response was “Easter Sunrise Service in the middle of the ocean”.  The fleet of ships were pulled together.  The chaplain lead the service through the PA system that broadcasted across the fleet.  It does not surprise me that one of my favourite childhood memories is Easter Sunrise Service by the ocean.  It’s by the ocean I realise how small I am and how big God is.  In the ocean I realise how out of control I am under the power of the minimal waves and how in control God is.  The Bible says even the winds and the waves obey God.
   
In this celebration of life and this storm of grief, we can worship the One who is in control of all things.  He is the Giver of life.
    Job 14:5  “HIs days are determined and the number of his months is with you and have appointed his limits that he cannot pass”.

Dad’s personal care and concern for others:
Another memory of my time with Dad is that he would often ask how “so and so” is.  He had a genuine concern for people.   One day he asked about a specific person and I told him, “Dad he is against God right now.  He has seen so many horrors in war and has done so many things, he is just mad at God it seems and even questions God’s existence.”  My dad’s reply was, “has He read the Bible?”.  In that simple statement was an answer that had many answers.  It showed my dad’s priority and trust in God’s word to show the answer to our deepest questions and needs. 

Dad’s honourable heart:
Dad’s love for his parents and brother (John) was evident in the time we had with Dad either through our visit last summer or our phone conversations with dad and mom.  Dad’s heart to obey his father and desire to be in by curfew when he was talking with Griffin showed.  At one time, Dad thought he was the same age as his teenage grandson Griffin who was sitting next to him. Dad was concerned about getting in by curfew.  Dad was also concerned to make sure his parents were taken care of.  There were funny moments as well where dad thought he was going out on a mission in the navy and didn’t want his mother to worry.  He kept whispering about having to go on a mission.  All throughout those moments, and all those times through my own childhood, I got to see a loving heart of a protector and provider. 

Dad’s trust in Mom:
    Mom is the love of Dad’s life.  They make a get team.  He spent his life loving and caring for us as a family.  I have been humbled and grateful for mom’s selfless dedication to taking care of Dad.    When Dad didn’t even know at times that he was married or who mom was, he would still call out for “Gladys” when he needed help or was unsure.   This is a testimony to his trust and faith in her, and the relationship that was built for over 50 years.  He knew that she was a safe person that he could trust.  She has been amazing at making decisions for what is best for Dad and his care, and has been the best advocate for Dad he could have ever asked for.

Dad’s fun side:
We got to make fun memories for the grandkids and with Granddaddy thanks to crazy sock dance parties in Ireland and to impromptu dance parties in the kitchen with the Soyars when we were all in Cary together.  I remember Dad singing, dancing and joking around with my aunts and  uncles in the living room of my Grandmother’s house.   I also remember Dad dressing up with Joel Brothers at church for a youth fundraiser.  Joel dressed up as Sonny and Dad dressed up as Cher.  Mr. Brothers and Dad also dressed up as Native Americans in a canoe behind one of the panels of “Let’s Make a Deal..” mock gameshow.  We always knew there would be fun when Dad was up to something like this.

Giving:
Dad loved outings and picnics and hiking.   One of my favourite memories is going on the annual walk  (Crop Walk) to raise money for the hungry with Dad, Martha and friends from church.   He often participated in serving dinner at the local homeless shelter with the men from church.   He did not do this out of a heart of obligation but out of a heat of love and concern for others.

There is a Sure Hope:
Death is the penalty for sin which was first committed in the Garden of Eden.  However through Christ death has been defeated and this is not the end of the story but only the beginning.  Our life is but a vapour in the spot of eternity.  Death is not what we were designed for but eternity is.  For those who put their trust in Christ and repent of their sin as my father did, and his life exemplified, we pass straight into the presence of the Lord.  One day all things will be restored through a New Heaven and a New Earth.  As believers, while here, we grieve, we suffer but not alone and not as those without hope and therefore we live in the eternal, transforming, grace filled life that starts at the moment we believe.

Gifts to Celebrate:
God was gracious to give us Dad.  God is loving and gave us each other.   While we grieve deeply, we celebrate the life the gift of my earthly father, and the life of our Redeemer who makes it possible that this is not the end, but the beginning of eternity.