The trio.

Hello! I apologize that it has taken me so long to make a post on the blog but as most of you know, life has been happening. Well, we heard the Irish have big families and we really wanted to integrate into the culture so we wanted you to know that we are expecting another blessing of a child in October. Let me tell you, there is nothing that will put you on the fast track into culture shock like moving to a foreign country and then finding out you are pregnant! I have been beyond impressed with the healthcare and how proactive the medical staff has been in working with me. We have had a past history of five miscarriages. I also was very sick when I was pregnant with Ruth Anne with morning sickness. So finding out I was pregnant, my fears of entering a new health care system, learning how to drive on the left hand side of the road and with a manual car, along with my fears of going through morning sickness or miscarriage threw me for a loop. My biggest fear is my inability to show my love for my kids through quality time (my love language). So all that combined, needless to say. I freaked out. I could not sleep, I could not eat and my stomach was playing tricks on me. Not a good combination at all and I knew it could not last long and still function properly. My next biggest fear was that I would be the weak link in the family that I would not be able to handle living in a foreign country and would somehow fail and we would have to come home. Well if I could not function physically then the second fear was becoming a self fulfilling prophecy.

Well, God had been preparing me for this, thankfully, because I needed it. I am in the middle of a study by Dawn Mooring, studying the life of Joshua. Specifically Fighting Fears. I remember saving this study for when I got to Ireland just to have a study ready to go. Well I remember praying God, I am not really fearful of anything that is out of the ordinary or stands out but help me hide this in my heart because maybe someday I will need it. Well it hit me blindsided. What I have learned... I am so thankful for God's word that is useful and relevant today as it was the day it was written. I thank God that He is sovereign, and in control, even when I feel that life is out of control. I am thankful that I have hope in Him alone. I am thankful that it is Christ that works in me to give me strength to get through the day, that I do not have to rely on myself!!!! And I am thankful that He is teaching me to rest in Him. These are things that I could have given you the answers to before but knowing them in my head and applying them in my heart are two totally different things. I am not that great of a spiritual person but know that I cannot get through the day without Him.

So this is where we are. I am 8 weeks pregnant. The ultrasounds look great. The baby has vigorous cardiac activity. I live with the reality that each day is a gift and that tomorrow this baby may be taken to heaven, but don't we all live with that reality with life. I praise God for today! The doctors have been proactive and have me on every medication possible, the rest is up to God (but isn't it all?)

Tying this together, but hang in there with me: My Grandmother passed away at the beginning of this month. I praise God that I had such a blessed time with her before we left. We got to spend time with her. Questions that I wanted to ask her but had forgotten she just mentioned in conversation. Things I would have wanted to know but did not think to ask, she mentioned in our last conversation. My last memory of her is her standing on her front porch waving goodbye as she always does. We received so many prayers and notes of sympathy and concern. It was overwhelming. Even a note asking if we needed to be flown home for the funeral. Nothing will touch your heart as the sacrifice that someone is willing to make at the drop of the hat. Just the fact that we had the option. Everybody keeps asking how we are. I want you to know that I am thankful for a family that understands that at the time of the funeral it would have been physically and mentally too much for me to deal with getting the medical things I needed with the pregnancy dealth with as well as making a transAtlantic flight in the middle of all that was going on. I am sad that this world is not the same without my Grandmother in it. However I can honestly say I have never been so happy for her. I know people talk about heaven and how it is such a great place but it does not feel that great when you have to give that person up.

We were even discussing tonight that death was never God's intention for us. It came with the fall of man. So dying is not natural. Giving up a loved one is something that happens to us all but it is not natural and was not intended to happen. However our Father loves us so much that He did not make us puppets but gave us the decision.

Back to Grandmother: I am honestly happy for her that she is no longer physically limited and most of all that she gets to see her Lord and Savior that she loves more than life itself as demonstrated by her life. I thank God that He prepared a way for us through the sacrificial gift of His Son and that I can know for sure I will be there too someday.

So to tie it all together. When we told Griffin that GG had died and gone to heaven he came back later and told us "If the baby is not in mommy's belly anymore, I am sure GG is holding it in heaven". Wow! Out of the mouths of babes. I praise the Lord that that has not happened, yet and hopefully won't. But if it does. God is a good God. I know that because He has shown me that as He has walked this road with me.

Love ya'll. Miss ya'll. And am overwhelmed by your messages and love. Thanks.