Sacred Marriage

I have a new favorite verse (I write while grinning like a mule eating briars). It is Deut. 24:5 "If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married." How did I miss that verse before?

I am reading the book: Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. I have to admit it is a slow start in the first chapter but I am really enjoying chapter 2-4. It is a book that cuts to the chase and past all the fluff. It is not a book that gives you 10 steps to a better marriage or some other self help book. Thank goodness! Like we need any more of those!

One thing Sacred Marriage talks about in the beginning is that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. Loving someone is something that goes beyond the feeling of infatuation. "Love is not a natural response that gushes out of us unbiddend. Infatuation sometimes does that-at the beginning of a relationship at least-but hate is always ready to naturally spring forth." How true is that? I have no problem reacting quickly and spewing out hurtful words, but it takes an effort to bite my tongue and respond in love and respect.

The book reflects on the Scripture in Matthew 22:34-40 where we are not to just love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength but we must also love others. To become more like Christ (sanctification) is the journey of loving others and the unlovable-which may at times be your spouse (or for your spouse-you).

One point Gary Thomas makes that I have not contemplated before but makes sense is that along with our call to love others-even our enemies, to utter the words "The truth is, I have never loved you," are self condemning words for a Christian. By saying that you have not loved someone is an utter failure to love as Christ has called us to. Therefore by saying this, you are essentially saying: "I've never acted like a Christian." (41).

Another thought to ponder is this: Jesus told us to love others. The cool thing about marriage is that we actually got to choose whom we are going to love for the rest of our lives. God offers marriage as an opportunity not as a command. Because we get the choice and then find it difficult to carry out the love in practice, what grounds do we have to ever stop loving?

Let me end by saying, I am madly in love with the man I married, and had I the opportunity to do it all over again I would in a heartbeat.